I bit into the king cake and cracked my front tooth on the plastic baby. It didn't matter, cause now I was gonna have good luck the rest of my life. Wiping the purple sugar from my

"I always hum Greensleeves when I'm feeling depressed." said the ugly spotty teenage girl, as she stared at me through her nerdy glasses. "What do you do?" she asked me.

"Por favor,bom dia...",Carl was having trouble with his Portuguese.He needed to find the house and talk to Maria asap,but nobody knew that street.not even the cab driver.Time was r

"Why not?" you said. "What could happen?" you said. "Aw, what the hell" I said. Now here we are. Facing certain death, most likely an excruciatingly painful demise, and yet

I unwrapped the gum, and folded the stick into my mouth. As I thought about the funeral's cancellation I noticed a new moon outside the window. Only then did I realize

The black masked chef flicked a shuiriken which neatly split the lobster in two. My date shrieked with pleasure. The Ninjahana Restaurant had its share of 'accidents' however and

Why do I buy such trash? I have a hedgehog brush, a metal toothbrush, a rubber nail file, a pair of plastic gloves, cardboard socks and a paper shirt. Yesterday I bought a

"When you are all grown and live in a hut, send me a photo of your baby's butt." Renowned archaeologist Kate Blech was astonished; the inscription was authentic, but Angkor Wat

I'm on a roll! I've folded so many stories that I'm gonna annihilate the website servers! Then that will allow me to gain control over the whole writing world! Hahahahaha!

Ass-kicking and television cooking shows were the two biggest loves of his life, so he pitched a new show: Iron Chef meets MMA. Secret Ingredient in the octogon

Sure people liked Andy, Opie and Goober. You have your big fans of Floyd the Barber. But I always had my heart stolen by that self-deprecating officer of the law, my Barney.

"And you want to be my latex salesman?" Harold figeted in his seat. "Yes sir. I'm the man for the job. Latex is my middle name. Well not really, but I like it. A lot." The boss

This is the 11 o'clock news with David McHammon reporting. This just in, a pool bus full of otters has collided with a fringe-top surrey, no casualties. In other news, an albatross

The booming sound was clear and immediately recognizable. He looked quickly out the window at the wall of snow sliding down the mountain toward him.

I was lying there and suddenly I could see it. My pine cone opened and I was rising up into sky and above. From there I could see down into the valley and how the lake water flowed

Maya's bronze skin glistened like pirate treasure as the water dripped off her bare body. I never skinny dipped before, but I became hooked to it like her. My hands reached out to

Natures beauty is so powerful. I wept at the sight of the magnificent ancient rocky gorge. The crystal clear rock pools looked so inviting for swimming. It was a lovely warm day

Cow 35 & 36 faced one another & scooped dirt up on to their back with their hooves, snorted and banged their heads together locking horns. The crowd of farmers cheered

As the professor walks in, he announces,"Good news everyone, I saw a asteroid heading directly for Earth and we all are going to die." Fry says franticly," Wait, I am only human

In the morning about 7am , derek went to his elementary school by walking. He came out from his house and he started to walk to school. when he was walking he saw a haunted house