Hey

With her final gasp, she insulted my manhood with a childish remark about how my "nethermane" beneath my trousers was comparative to that of a sheet of velcro. In one blow, I

I had no way of knowing that my strange fascination with the girl next door would ultimately leave me with a single-room apartment and $500 in alimony fees. The worst part was that

Turn away, If you could get me a drink of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded. Call my aunt Marie, help her gather all my things and bury me in all my favorite colors, my

As I stand outside in the middle of the street, wind and snow slap around my hair. I thought to myself, "This was a mistake" as I was standing in a blizzard

If there was anything that could be learned from last night's transgressions, it's this: Never do an acid enema with your friends. Seventeen hours earlier, I was eating a

a

Simply Irresistible. It is a rediculous song but I was listening to it hoping that somehow it might rub off on me and let me get into her pants because

You should watch out, you know, because I am about to kill you. After you read this text, you will die. Do you want to know why? You made a huge mistake when you stepped on my

There is A crazy girl that likes taking things only from redheads

'Marzipan,' began Einstein (the first word he had spoken since being exhumed) 'has three tubers more than the average cannibal. Are you writing this down, you scum? Berty...'

It's so easy to say 'this is the last one' when you're still holding it and haven't eaten it yet.

The mad scientist was hard at work, mixing and brewing his latest potion. The formula, he was reasonably certain, could be used to give life to inanimate objects. He poured it onto

I woke up in a different world. I recognized everyone but it wasn't my house. It was different, everyone acted different, what was happening?

جلست سارة في منزلها وحيدة، غرفة المعيشة مظلمة إلّا من ضوء القمر الذي أشع من النافذة. ترتشف من قهوتها في الظلام الدامس، و إذا بها تسمع صوتاً مخيفاً قادم من حيث تعلّقت صورة جدّتها.

“Mary walked one mile, at high noon, totally naked, to get to her house; once inside, she immediately got dressed.” John’s declaration made Detective Manatee shift anxiously.

She could have chosen to wake up then, but she didn't. Would it have worked? Well. Maybe. She walked across the shifting ballroom, into the next chamber, which seemed to be

My fingers wandered dangerously close to her lips, stopping long enough on the way to brush through her brown hair. She embraced it, and gazed deeply into my eyes like a doll would

Stiles is clumsy. He is always getting rekt like a skrub. so stiles said "@MLG_assassins is stupid" and all of a sudden he was being REKT LIKE A SCRUB! then..

This is going to hurt.