I do not know how the studio expected to make money from a film that insults the only audience that will be drawn to watch it.

The next time Smiley Gyrus appeared on TV, Dad shot the television, just as he said he would. "I will not have that smut broadcast into our home. Son, your internet is conditional:

I looked up into the steely eyes of Dr. Hamm. "We're going to put you under now," he said softly. "Count backwards from 10...9...8...7.." When I opened my eyes again, I was shocked

Meredith spit out her gum and reapplied her lip gloss. She leaned back in her office chair, peeking around the wall of her cubicle. Julia was leaning over the copier, furiously

The sieve-like defenses of my pillow fort were no match for my little sister's hockey stick. "Retreat!" I said, grabbing my plastic lightsaber and escaping out the back. My Teddy

I'm a 26 year old woman, married, live with my husband and 4 year old son. My life is as normal as yours, the only minor difference is -- I live "under" the bed.

Head reeling, he watched her slumped figure disappear into nothingness. "Could it be?" He thought to himself, almost laughing at how ridiculous his explanation was for what he saw.

"Look, you're my friend and all but fuck you for waking me up at 2 am for your dumbass conspiracy theory." "BUT KEVIN THE JANITOR IS AN ACTUAL FAIRY. HE HAS THE WINGS AND STUFF."

What's for dinner?

In celebration of the birth of the newest member of the royal family, I decided to send William & Kate a baby gift! I settled on something I thought no one else would think of...a

"Come with me," he said, staring into my eyes as he offered his hand through the open door, "Please... I'm begging you to come with me." I wanted to come with, I really did but

I was seeing deeper and simultaneously more broadly than ever before. I saw people's true nature instantly. I saw rainbows and sun dogs at night. The glare from the

This is a test

The photograph showed an anaconda wrapped around a baby. When the mother returned, she saw a white space in the picture where the snake was. By the crib she

Quentin signed for the package and nervously pulled the tab on the envelope. Palms sweating, he reached inside and pulled out what appeared to be a photograph. It was of a thumb.

"Where to?" asked the taxi driver. He looked back, noticing a burly, armored man wielding a halberd. "Raiders fan?" The man gripped his weapon. He was actually an executioner from

Bernice the bear lived in a zoo. It was dingy, small, and the people there treated her like an animal. (Irony?) She planned to escape the next day; Her plan was to

There really was a house that ate children in my neighborhood. Every year, two or three would disappear, always around the same house, always around the month of November, right

I could not believe my eyes. Truly, they were hopeless. Always just popping out mid conversation. It made it really hard to

I beg your pardon? Retorted a puzzled Mr. Napier. You mean, we mustn't alert the police to the fact that there's a killer among us? But Sir Lardham is dead! Are you hiding somethin