The ship smashed against the rocks. Severed heads rolled out of the chest. This is where the captain has been hiding his friends. I took the torch and waved it at

Every time he helped her, his stomach started to hurt. It wasn't that he was worried about knowing, but her anxiety over failing was infectious and the constant encouragement wore

And the nominees for the best porn video title inspired by a mainstream movie name are

Whereupon the intruder turned to me and said

Carrot Top's face finally fell off. I was there to see it. You're probably wondering why I am even admitting that I attended one of shows. That's fair, but you must understand:

Hitler had insulted Einstein's mom for the last time.

I paused, not knowing what to say. When my Mother dropped the bomb on me about the divorce, I just left him there. I really hoped I'd never have to live that down. Sure, he was a

The geography of the area was working against the road builders of the 19th and 20th centuries, who were hellbent on draining the swamps to expose the rich black mucky

The doorbell rang. She rocketed up from seven layers of sleep, confused; No one had this address. "Ma'am, we're digging a ditch across your driveway. If you want out, you'll need

Snow settled on the pines behind his house. Trent never really paid attention to that shit anymore. It was nice to look at for the first year, but time had hoovered all the novelty

The computer screen flashed its error message: No document with DOI "10.1.1.71.8225" The supplied document identifier didn't match any document in our

That's when Buddha appeared. He wasn't fat like Chinese renditions. He was a thin Indian dude. "What are you doing here?" John was in the Pizza Hut kitchen making a meat lover's

They had battled for control of the trailer park. Residents fled to Texas to escape bloodshed. He was tired. He sent a peace overture in the form of a fermented pork sandwich. This

AHHHHH! Kathy screamed at the top of her lungs...

The alpaca farm was not the financial success Ed and Judy had envisioned. No one had told them that by temperament these wooly creatures had an evil streak that belied their fuzzy

His dog peeked over the edge of the table. The baby'd left bits of steak there, but Dad shook his head. Two minutes later, she was barking at something. When Dad got up, she flew

It didn’t even occur to me to pay attention to my father’s keep off the grass signs, but it should have. I realized this as soon as I stepped in the small pile Mrs. Chu's Mutt

"April's Adventures, how can I help you?" Her voice was far too perky and I had had far too little sleep. "How about a library visit in August," I snarled, my bad mood bleeding

Hot fat and delirium congealed somewhere at the base of his skull. The time of magic and will had given way to a chaos unanticipated by the great tomes. To be undone by a pan of

The crowd reeked of vodka. They were puking in their seats. Their chants were slurred but he could make out the name. They chanted for him. Well screw that noise then. I'll