"But Ma, all my friends have internet and streaming!" Nora cried. "Well, this is what we could afford, darling." A moment later, The Mandible in its club chair vibrated into view.

I was tending bar at Mel Cooley's when Alan Brady sat down and ordered a Buddy Sorrell on the rocks, but I screwed up and served him a Sally Rogers straight up, and he got pissed

When I told my grandpa that "Baby It's Cold Outside" is actually a song about date rape, he flipped his lid and told me I needed to stop ca-noodling with my tree-hugging friends.

It was a dark and stormy night. As frozen snowflakes beat against the lead windows, Kris Kringle was dipping his wick in Mrs. Claus's hot bubbling wax.

What is honestly the point of living? If I die will the world stop spinning, will the plants stop producing oxygen? No, so what's the point? Oh yeah,

Being she was extremely bored and felt like doing nothing but writing, the young girl opened a draft in her email to begin a story, and stopped. She had an unread email.

I was reading a book on my phone when an interrupting phone call came through on my watch. "Crap" I smelled. It was my wife-in-law. She'd sat in some elephant pellets and needed

"Thanks Frank, but I think we'll go with Kate's proposal this time." Frank screamed & pounded on the table. "No, mine! mine mine mine!" He tore up his meeting minutes, dropped

Slowly he opened the door. They filled the space behind like beans in a can... a can of terror. They watched as he

Rules

It was broken. Nobody knew why. But that was a lie. Vincent knew that there was a very real threat sitting in the school hall. Was it a teacher, a child or one of parents?

I woke up in a hospital...I think it was a hospital...in pain. People dressed in white were surrounding me, looking down at me. But I couldn't talk. I looked down at myself. I was

Alone in a dark room,or so he thought;but he was not startled when he felt her touch.It was just like her to sneak in and grab his dick like that.He felt her scent,turned as she

Anne met her boyfriend at Facebook.He was a friend of a friend of a friend whom she used to play a few games with.Virtual games.The kind of games children were not supposed to play

On his first date, he noticed on her shelf a first edition copy of 'The Trail'. Then and there, he decided to devote his life to Kafka. Unaware, it was her roommate's book.

"OK, Day Campers!" Ms. Twombly clapped her hands. "I want you all to make him feel welcome!" This was the day the Littlest Pet Shop's special visitor was a dead sturgeon.

Charlie Parker made neutrinos change flavor with his left hand. Majorana was unimpressed. She'd exposed Dark matter parlor tricks and was a feared spectator at the Superkamiokande

there was nothing left.

Someday I'm going to realize that one thing that I didn't realize, at the time, that was the only thing I needed to realize and why I never realized it. Until that realization came

Vito the Sausage Baron, Bobby Bugeyes, "Fingers" & Danny "the Duke" were in a small prison cell orbiting the moon arguing about who'd blocked the waste collection system when