Don’t eat the brownies.

Yesterday Tom graduated from the city's grueling 13 week Street Sweeper boot camp. In a couple of hours he will carry his new broom & dustpan to take his place on the frontlines.

The one and only purpose of life is: A hand of Rummy

"Hahaha." laughed Slorbnx. "How in the Four Drinplngs is that supposed to work? A planet orbiting one sun with a dark period? Dream on Notwen!" Notwen's antennae retracted glumly.

"Call Rich, tell him I need Botox real bad!", Dame Polly said while getting a pedicure. "What is the phone number?", her pedicurist asked. Dame Polly gave her the number.

"One, two, three, four, five.....no....one, two, three, four..... where'd you go? Oh. One, two, three, four, five.... Where is number six, there are supposed to be six."

Bob the Blobfish was winner of the 'Yearly Ugliest Creature of the Ocean' Contest (YUCO), beating out Stan the Stonefish & Gary the Goblinshark. His face had an uncanny similarity

My bloody head dangled upside down mere inches from the boiling cauldron as I fought against my bindings. "I'll ask you ONE MORE TIME!" screeched Hagatha. "WHAT OF THE TOAD?!!!!"

My spaniel, Birdy, loves me very very much. But if she could find a way of doing it without getting told off, then she'd eat me all up. I have no illusions about this whatsoever

The Meaning Of Life. Part I I have come to realize that modern life in western society has become nothing more than a mad rat race, and that we have completely lost touch with our

Jerry stammered into a room filled with people dressed in full Halloween costumes. Everyone turned and gazed at him as if he were the odd looking character.

"I am not a consumer -- I am a free man!" That trademark rallying cry of the reboot rocketed "The Village" into record viewership and ad revenue on a fading cable network. Shane Mc

soon after the volcano erupted and she could see the fleeting lives that would soon be nothing but corpses

'Twas a bright and sunny day outside, but inside the mind of Lyra Burns, things were much different.

Burroughs rang up Borges on his clatterdemalion. "Do you have anything to do with this? This is like my cut-up game, but I wonder about some of the source texts." Borges was in the

"Begone those grey dingy vestmans! I'll make them white!" Samwise turned down the TV. Thank the Valar,Bilbo & Frodo didn't see Gandalf stooping to make commercials for $aruman, Inc

"Wot aboot the moonwalkin' parrot there? Give you a quid for im." "What'dya say? "Hello, are ye daft? MJ? He's mee prize, hee iis. Lookit. He kin sing 'Billy Jean's not mee Bird.'

In an unfortunate twist of fate, before he died, Dr. Spock mind-melded with Sybil.

To whom it may concern STOP My name is Sam, I work at the telegraph factory STOP The telegraphs have become sentient STOP Send help STOP also Diet Coke STOP Just don't

The central figure [X] reveals a male of refined and handsome features such as a formed and well groomed part of straight hair. A slight blemish or dimple above the left