The Archbishop stood before us. I thought about his father's ears and his family's hidden German past. Through our marriage, we would rule the world. According to the prophecy,

The families watched in silence. The priest continued, "If any person here believes that this fold by 49Faithful and this fold by Slimwhitman should not be joined in Foldy Matrimon

As I ground on her lap I wondered what I'd eat for breakfast when I got home. Maybe eggs. I got up & shook it in her face. Her friends screamed & rained dead presidents down on us.

As if in a trance, I steered my shopping cart into the strange gloom of Aisle 11. Moments later, a small smoky demon chomped on my leg then handed me its business card before it

On the first day of Xmas my true love gave to me...

During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through

The fate of the world was in my hands. This was the turning point, this was the dice roll that would determine the outcome of the most dramatic Risk game in history. And I rolled a

Gene Rayburn read the card with his perfect diction, "The magician thought this was his lucky day. When he reached into his hat, instead of a rabbit, he pulled out a BLANK"

she injected a few mills of herion and walked over to the pole and started to dance

When I couldn't stand no more of Aunt Polly's civilizin' english lessons I reckon'd an Adventure like Tom related with real Cowboys & Injuns were just what was needed so I lit out

When Amy finally woke up in the hospital after a week-long coma, she discovered an engagement ring on her left hand. She felt desperately in love but unfortunately, amnesia

I wanted a pudding pop but, every time I went to get one, the ghostly visage of Bill Cosby rose up before me. The same thing happened with Toaster Strudel - all I could think of

I found out my best friend was in love with me all this time and I thought I was really stupid for not knowing. I liked her too but there was also another girl I liked, I don't

...You two timing jerk!" My girlfriend pushed me out of the futon. "wha-?" I groaned. "In my dream, you were smooching Jolie in a pink tutu!" "But It's just a..." "Then explain

The coffee bag was vacuumed-sealed in an impenetrable brick. The seams couldn't be pulled apart, scissors bent, it broke knife blades and using a hammer only cracked the counter

I dreamed again of my former life as a groupie for the Fixx. Ah, the hair, the clothing, the music - so bad! So God-awful bad!

Carlos woke up, had breakfast, went to work, ate and came back home. Everyday. But that morning, when he opened the door, there was no street outside, just a neverending sea. So he

The year: 2165. The place: The Andromeda Galaxy. There, in his massive star cruiser, the 12th incarnation of B'chugerroth, Eternal Guardian of the Dark Flame, plotted his return

I've became obsessed with gaining super speed, so much so that every time it storms, I run to my chemical set, hoping a stray bolt of lightning will strike, just like in the Flash

zer0 umad ?