The cat sat on the mat

I’m a borderline coulrophobic (person with an exaggerated fear of clowns).

It starts with a cough.

In the spring of 1912 Holmes' constitution had deteriorated to such a degree, his drug dealer feared he might die. I insisted we R and R, booking us passage aboard the RMS Titanic.

I never needed to learn to speak. Never had a childhood of any sort. I began my existence knowing exactly who I was and what I was meant for. This has never bothered me before, but

"G'bye, boy." Johnny knelt down & brushed away a tear as the hamburger whined. "Go! I can't keep you anymore." The burger dejectedly scampered away, tomato slices and lettuce bits

I scratched my balls by the pinch-rub technique. It makes me go to the happy place. Then afterwards I smell my fingers. These private joys are all that sustain me because

She walked outside, rain dripping down her face, dripping off the end of her nose. She turned back, memories of the houses past flouded her mind.

How do I love Cowboy TV? Let me count the ways:

The cat watched. It had all the time in the world. Not the mouse, though. It knew the gig was up, and so it moved into Plan B. It stood on his hind legs and

“So, this guy likes punctual”, David said as if we’d been carrying on a conversation for hours. “He’s very well connected with the traffickers in Everett and does some deals

A John Kerry Vietnam vet, his sentiments on war can be summarized by the following: “Killing for Peace is like Fucking for Virginity.” That probably seems crass, but it’s on his

When I couldn't stand no more of Aunt Polly's civilizin' english lessons I reckon'd an Adventure like Tom related with real Cowboys & Injuns were just what was needed so I lit out

She stood at the top of the stairs. A robot got her fat brother a drink. Her husband stood there in his stupid italian jacket and cabbie hat. He was too old for all this crap and

Eight multicolored ponies gathered in the antechamber to drink over the evidence of the garish crime. One of them had committed it. The problem was none of them could remember who.

I never was a firm believer in gravity.

I walked into the bar. Fud Leclerc's 'Drowned Men of the River Seine' was playing on the juke box and the lighting was low. He was waiting for me by the pool table holding 2 cues &

Twenty miles of hard road lay between them. He watched her through his hunting partner's binoculars and wondered how many days it would take to catch up. And was it worth it?

Last time I smelled this bad I lost my best girl. She said it's cuz i stunk. Anyway she stunk worse than I ever did. I changed my underwear but my heart was

"You know what's cool? Tin foil. Super thin metal that you can tear off a piece and just wrap it around something? That shit is badass bro." He looked at me, winked, & did a header