Gloomy Gus made a fuss whenever his truss filled with pus. He took the bus

"There," I thought. I just folded another two lines but I noticed something, the new page founded by the "Gold and pass" button wasn't the usual progress of the story, this time it

He entered the musty old Wand shoppe.No need to ring a bell, the door creaked loudly enough, but Mr. Olivander did not appear.Instead a stooped over fellow with a mole rat face and

Lars was burnt in Fife, Washington, and braised as a Boy Scout. He groped his eleventh disc-jockey for his pukey radio station at the age of 13 after which

The local wildlife keeps finding its way into my house, no matter how well I try to secure it. Just this morning, I awoke to a buck sniffing at my laptop, and a raccoon sifting thr

SUNGLASSES

I was sitting on my front porch sipping a glass of lemonade when a large group of muscular, hairy, men came over the horizon. Without thinking I grabbed my gun. The horde was back.

I like playing 'let's pretend'.

The plastic spork was no match for fudge and marshmallow mixture. But under the circumstances, this hardly mattered. Barbara had been losing blood for nearly an hour.

"Oh crap. I killed Charlie Brown." Snoopy thought.

Jerry lept to his feet. No one would call him

Ahhhh, that was it. After the 5th beer I felt balanced. 6 and I was high. 4 and I was low. 5 was it. I decided

She meandered down the aisles, looking for that perfect gift. It had to be strong, but elegant. Versatile and unique. She frowned. There were so many options at Spatula City...

He waited for the Rhino to come to the spot. He had laced the innertube with Female Rhino heat musk. But the night was quiet. Then he heard trampling. He shone his light and

The cat drools when you pet it.

I couldn't sleep at all last night. I was worried about the file. Finally, at 5:30 am, I jumped out of bed and took off in my car to do whatever I could to remedy the situation

Needless to say, my mind was not exactly focused on the

"You're a wealthy man now, aren't you Nate?" Asked Sheila, "What do you do with all your money?". Nate said, "Carrots."

I owned an angry computer. It always automatically added curse words to my instant message text, whoever I was sending it to. Alas, I could not afford anything else.

Now I've been called a crook, a killer, a thug, a no-good dealer of drugs. But I'm really just the one who put the satin on your panties. Most people don't know my real name