I couldn't keep my eyes off of the woman sitting to my left. Stupidly hot, driving a 6 speed better than any man I had ever met in my life. Alas, everyone has a hamartia, and hers

When the snow finally stopped, we had what must have been almost four feet accumulated up against the door of the house. We had plenty in the pantry, but the can opener was

I slept the wrong way last night and woke up stiffer than Al Gore. Then I bumbled down the stairs and walked out into the rain without an umbrella. Here I was, my first day in...

Damian took her hand. "Lisa..." he murmured, "give me a chance." She gazed into his eyes. Then she smiled, and just as his face filled with hope, disengaged from the simulator

The storm railed against the house with thunder so loud, it was deafening. Then, it happened. The sky opened up and it swallowed me whole.

The students of Menopeak High School were reading through the list of unusual careers on offer at the Career Day Expo. The first job offered was

Your lips i taste one mine

"I triple foo dog dare you!" Tony whispered giving me a fierce look. He had removed the indian fetish from his pocket and dangled the foo dog before me sinisterly. I knew the curse

"Grandpa, did you ever have sex?" "Well, Willie, if remember correctly the last time I wet my whistle it was at the drive-in.about 1955 with your Grandma during..." "Wiillard, shut

One morning I woke to find myself slightly elevated. The Turtle of the Baskervilles had somehow found itself under me, flipped. As I rested on its belly, it whispered the 18th word

These Easy tips will guarantee a happy life, no matter the size of your wife. Tip 1: Always thank the cashier at the grocery store. Tip 2: Never apologize. Tip 3. Wear socks Tip 4

"I'll get around to it," I said as I looked at the broken dish washer. Two weeks later, I was eating off paper plates. Then yesterday, I found it healed itself.

I flashed my brights as if to say 'Good morning!'. Then I passed & laid on the horn to say 'Thanks!' Then I slowed down & extended a greeting I'd seen other motorists use to relate

I need a story small enough to read on my phone.

"They rolled in, unrelentlessly, full of vulgar...um I mean..." "CUT!!!!! JLo, Why? Why? Why, can't you get this right?"

"Told her lightsaber's upside down, ain't my fault the idiot burned her face off...." Darth Anthony murmured as the recruit writhed on the ground. First day at Camp Darkside wasn't

Cold and wet, his eyes blink against the frigid wall of rain, beating down on his small, tired frame.

To my left on the bus seat was a man I am sure will kill me. I don't know why, and I don't know when, but it'd be hard to avoid. I look at him, hard. I wonder if he has kids.

My boat's too big big to get me to France.

Beauty tightrope walked into the Parisian jail to break Beast out on a false murder charge; she'd dropped the teacup by mistake. But Gaston coerced Crazy Old Maurice into aiding