Waking up with stigmata can be embarrassing if your one stand is sitting around waiting for the breakfast you promised her. "Are you telling me the pancakes were a lie?" The wounds

"Please hold onto the safety bar as the bus passes over this bridge" said the driver, who quickly added "in case something crawls out from under it".

Somehow, I'm the one who gets cornered into explaining to a 70-year-old lady what the term "donkey punch" means (she asked). Then, everyone is pissed because I told her the truth.

"...And we will never surrender!" He said from the top of the castle. Troops begun to invade the main square as the archers tried to make them retreat, but it did not matter.

Forgive m,e my lord, tonight's dinner was made by the mad clown Springy. I'm afraid it's a bit

" Will you love me when I´m hairless?" Rosemary said to John " Yes when you´re hairless and when everything you do is just sleep." John said grasping Rosemary´s hand she looked at

"Robert, you're the best hacker we have. You've got the raw processing power of an I7. Now get me those nuclear codes by tonight or it's game over for America."

Gene Rayburn read the card with his perfect diction, "The church organist was in need of a tune up when she reached out for the keyboard and found it was a BLANK"

Constable Plod pointed at the smoking gun. "Bollocks! This is not a smoking gun! It's a

Sugra closed the qxwrau called "Mathematics of Carbonic Development" and protested: "But Exudar, they are so full of vitality, madness, violence and stories! Why won't you let me

After a fierce storm destroyed the bridge and killed their car, Colin and Tilda trudged along the country highway until finally they saw glowing windows. The sign said "Cobweb Inn"

You don't know Jack Squat.

He woke up slightly groggy. Must have been some party last night. In his haze he noticed there was a red string tied to his big toe.

I love her scent. Her very presence is like a burst of undeniable feelings, bursting from my heart. I always try not to look into her eyes, I'm always afraid she does not like me

As the door slammed shut behind him he knew there was no going back again, for a moment he gulped for air and got a sickening twist in his innards, but after he exhailed he felt

"Seven brides for seven dwarfs."said the add.Ever since Snow White moved back into the castle they felt so lonely they put on an add and waited in vain till one day their Facebook

Have you ever met a really hot girl before? The type of girl that just makes you lose your mind. That one that makes you say "Wow who made that angel?" It's all cool till you find

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Mr Wong hadn't spent four months floating from Vietnam to America in a cracked pot for nothing. That much was clear. Today he was finally going to

I smushed the bug on my bare stomach and thought nothing of it. The next day, in the shower