"Old fashioned,but worth the effort." "High maintenance.Southern heritage" "Gothic,has shingles,lice, skeletons in the closet & bats in the belfry." Intrigued by the last listing

"I'm not scared of being alone," she said, but I know her better than that.

She drew the meat cleaver from the cabinet, and started dragging across the granite countertop. She looked at me crazily and said, "You should have never stolen my hot dog, it made

"Follow me Avery. No, no please don't be shy. As you walk along through these doors you will I hope soon find that WE posses the cure for all your ailments. You do have those don't

Frank had built an empire on two simple principals: Good speling and proper use of grammar. Unfortunately, it looks like I is not one of his pupils.

Little Old Lady,or Lolly was a black and white pussy....Cat! Pussy cat... She belonged to Sally,an 81er who just thought she owned the house.The real owner was of course,Lolly.

"Taste it." "No." "Just take a taste." "No." "One taste?" "No." "At least smell it." "I don't want to." "Just a whiff?" "Nope." "I'll waft it under your nose."

Pablo De Nuda trembled on his next doctor's visit -- because he knew what they knew -- what they all knew -- the little glyphs blabbing about in their electro-topological congress

The 2013 National Beard and Moustache Championships are a few months away, yet my pirate blackbeard needs work to win. Maybe I can get my parrot, Squawkers, to grow a goatee.

He wanted to "Mercedes" his mother. So he designed a car that had her curves and personality, but she was a cantankerous squash-shaped octogenarian. The "Gertrude" sold poorly but

The.bear.cat.ran.the.way.home.to.the.stadium.to.play.the.game.and.win.the.game.he.left.real.sad.from.home.but.knew.that.he.could.win.away.from.home

"Only the heart of the girl will show me you are loyal and deserving." Said the queen,with an evil glint in her eyes. The hunter didn't know how he would kill such beauty as

It was Loan Shark Week on CNBC and all the anchors were replaced by thugs. Tony the Pony (yes, yes) was interviewing a victim of check cashing services. "50% interest, that's not

I feel like I am going to sneeze, and the sneeze is coming and sweet relief is about to take place…and then…nothing happens!

"Tell me it again. This time with more detail." The beekeeper needed to know everything he could about the attack before he went to the meeting. If a piece of information was lost,

Most people wouldn't add to perverted folds, and so many stories never reached their end. This was due to a troll named Al Gore adding nasty sentences to many of the stories.

He was the prima dona on the assembly line. His screw tightening was the best. Where was his favorite wrench? It needed the right amount a grease. The other workers had enough.

I'm a lonesome hound dog. I am greek and I battle giant aliens. I also am brave and not afraid of ohms! And lastly, I can dance and play a fiddle on

Oh MAN! I also just f'ed up somebody's folding story and feel bad about it. Dammit anyway!

It was a choice of living life to the fullest, seizing the day, or watching a "Heroes" marathon on Netflix with a bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red and a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos.