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Someone once told him he looked like Haggar

  • Someone once told him he looked like Haggar and one day he looked into a window at Bloomingdale's and he saw himself- he really saw himself apparently for the first time...
  • He was rude, overweight, violence prone, 4 colors & quite literally 2-dimensional. Simon turned sideways & his reflection in the window disappeared. But he resolved to change all
  • that some day in the future. He didn't want to be rude or fat, but damn, that was a lot to change. Tomorrow he thought. Simon was also two-dimensional which meant that
  • he only had length & width, but no depth. Like a piece of paper, ignoring the fact that a piece of paper does actually have depth, just not very much. So Simon had less depth than
  • that. In fact he was so thin you could see through him like tracing paper. That's how he got a job as an anatomy chart at the Mayo clinic. They used him for instructing interns &
  • getting coffee & shit like that. I've seen those doctors beat his ass with their Stethoscopes like something straight outta' Rambo. I'm sayin' this kid was SKINNY. I said to him
  • "Hey, Skinny." And he was like, "Hey" And I was like, "Skinny jeans?" And he was like, "Yeah" Then he paid for his Starbucks and I never saw him again. Well, boing storytime is ove
  • r." Marsha glared at me over her latte moustache. "And you just let Mister Skinny Jeans go?" I looked away. I preferred the desert of loneliness. And guys with leg muscles. My fr
  • ying pan had more sizzle in it than my love life.True, I liked muscular men, but in order for me to attract them, I had to bulk up myself. Man-o-Man Gym was the place I finally met
  • some vain, self-important alpha male who would only reciprocate for my body until something fresher came along, and he pulled the "I can only love women" card on me months after.

3 Comments

  1. BlastedHeath Nov 15 2012 @ 19:53

    For a moment I thought Leslie Nielsen had paid us a visit, and then there was jaw2ek's awesome fold. This one really had me laughing.

  2. SlimWhitman Nov 16 2012 @ 04:38

    Yeah, the patient more-or-less died and Jaw reanimated. Very funny. The other Nielsen: http://foldingstory.com/wov72/

  3. jaw2ek Nov 16 2012 @ 10:38

    One of the great things about FS is random accidents. I had NO IDEA what was going on with the fold I was working with. Just trying to latch on to something.

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