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Tired of boyfriends who don't understand

  • Tired of boyfriends who don't understand your needs? Husbands who sit on the sofa & drink beer? Meet Adam, off-the-shelf Individuality. Just download your desired partners personal
  • qualities and voila! A perfect mate! Handsome (check), Intelligent (check), Faithful (check), Big...Hands (check), Ambitious (check). I clicked "FINISH." My Adam cost only $19.99 +
  • a nominal shipping and handling fee, I could have two Adams - I'd just have to pay the extra handling. Hmmm...would I want two perfect mates? Would fidelity be an issue? The curs
  • e of infidelity struck immediately. I was bringing in 2 pieces of battenburg cake & found Adam and Adam in a clinch on my sofa! I tried to insinuate myself between my perfect mates
  • which is the name of my balls. I call them my perfect mates. They are perfectly wrinkly, fuzzy and aromatic. It's really hard to sit so that I am perfectly splitting them on other
  • People's heads to curb lice. One of the Whole Foods vendors was interested, smelling a profit. The smell of money to them was like catnip to cats. John Mackey got wind of it too.
  • It takes a louse to recognize a louse: so say the lice. They recognized John Mackey but stuck to the deal. They were after the jingle jangle & if that meant not knowing, so be it.
  • "Give us the jingle jangle," they squeaked their antennae waving in the air. John Mackey gave them a once over which took 1/1000th of a second. "What's it to you," he grumbled.
  • "I'll give you aliens the jingle jangle," spat John Mackey, "just as soon as you're quite done with this jiggery-pockery!" The aliens visibly wiggled within their space suits.
  • They were aroused by Mackey's violent words, which in their culture was an essential part of the mating ritual. Poor John Mackey never saw then coming and was never the same again.
Started
2013-04-07 12:07:28
Finished
2018-05-22 06:49:51

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Wendillon May 22 2018 @ 07:23

    It...somehow went back to needs that needed to be met....sort of...
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman May 22 2018 @ 11:17

    Perfect mates, sort of.

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