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Dear Abby, I am writing to ask about my husband's

  • Dear Abby, I am writing to ask about my husband's fetish. He likes to have me put on heels and a chimp mask, and call him Cornelius. What does it mean? Sincerely, LessThanZira
  • "LessThanZira" was the name Abby's daughter used when she wrote in for advice. Abby's daughter was raised in a perfect house, with perfect meals, and a Mother with perfect advice
  • like, "don't take no wooden nickels" and "don't sleep in the subway". She also sang these advices on a local radio talent show contest. Abby's fighter was so proud and
  • decided to buy her a gift. She'd always stay safe with this in her handbag. A battery operated
  • Vibrophaser. Starfleets newest issue for the space fleet. A combination personal gratification enhancer and weapon. Proper aim is difficult when in vibrate mode. It cut a jagged
  • line in my ceiling the first time I tried it but the Vibrophaser was all the rage with the female cadets in the farther moon orbits. Starfleet command noted that productivity drop
  • ped dramatically not long after it's introduction, but couldn't pinpoint the source and phased out the recently introduced spandex uniforms. Vibrophaser sex holodeck parties
  • were actually regarded as the norm, and especially vital for those long voyages into deep space with just the same old crew of flunkies and self-important bridge officers. A new
  • song started to play over the speakers. It was from a popular orchestra-band during the late 22nd century. Most of the crew had entered into their cryostasis chambers.
  • The band was playing a cover of "Afternoon Delight." Sadly, due to a glitch in the system, the crew had to listen to it in stasis on repeat for 15 years. Sky rockets in flight...

1 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Jul 31 2012 @ 17:31

    Cornelius approved and not just in the afternoon.

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