Grandma's Apple Pie Recipe: -2 cups sugar

  • Grandma's Apple Pie Recipe: -2 cups sugar -5 apples -1 tbsp salt -4 tsp sugar -1 cup flour -1 cup brussel sprouts -5 rashers of bacon -1 lock of orphan's hair -1 cup toenails
  • freshly clipped from a mountain goat, 1 cup water, 1 tbsp of yeast, 1 cup air, 2 cups pie, 1 recently defrosted mermaid's tear, 45 cups pencil sharpenings, 2 cups microwavable dirt
  • I looked at the contestant, disgusted. I looked at my fellow judges at the cooking competition. Patrica nearly puked. Brian did. "So, um, could you explain your choice to include
  • surströmming stuffed sweet breads in the menu? The swedish chef smiled disarmingly, "de är läckra godsaker och billig mat!" "The other tasters think you tried to poinson them."
  • "Maybe we can placate them with some free Pogens," suggested the Swedish chef. "That's your answer for everything," growled one of the tasters, "we could have died from that food!"
  • "Love your meatballs tho - and that sauce, mm!" added Ms. Svensson, another taster but mostly there to flirt with the cook. His monobrow hiked up a few inches. Was she serious?
  • "You know," lisped Ms Svensson, "I've always wanted an 'IKEA kiss'" He put a meatball between his teeth & sweeping her into his arms, pressed his tomatoey lips against hers. His
  • marinara exuberance washed over her tongue and she bit the meatball. Simultaneously chewing and kissing, Ms Svensson went down and unzipped his pants. She started sucking spaghetti
  • But this was Greek pazticio number three with tubular networks to distribute the marinara sauce. Flopp had just bought it at shop and save in the Greek aisle, next to the Russian
  • in the black hat who had the secret longing to be Greek. He dreamed of sun-dried tomatoes, olives, and bronzed bodies. Little did he know that he had everything he needed in Nick.


Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!