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I got a lot done today! Finished my butt

  • I got a lot done today! Finished my butt gluing fixture. Moved the porch light (I was tired of the moths getting in the house every time I opened the door at night) the TODO list
  • was exhaustive. "Todo" was Spanish for "everything." There was everything on that list. Which included supergluing the
  • fallen toe nail back on to the Senora's big toe."Haces de todo?"they asked when I aplied to the job."Si."I answered,stating that I was up for anything,but I never thought it meant
  • speaking Spanish. "Non hablo puerco, Dora," I wanted to say, but didn't think of it 'til later. Do they expect me to spend money on pot instead of windows for my shit house? What
  • did they want from me? Dora, sensing my misgivings, tried another tactic.The oldest, but most effective strategy in the world: sex. She opened her Spanish fan & whispered something
  • naughty, something dirty, something nasty. This whisper would make Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson blush. Dora's hardcore whisper was so far out there into the world of fetishism
  • but it did wonders for the tumescently challenged & flaccidly phallused would-be bedroom paramours for Dora's penis whispering was a powerful and natural cure
  • for wimpy weenies. I know this from first hand experience, so to speak. Dora had a way with impotence that could only be described as miraculous. Once, she talked my penis into
  • 'rising from the dead like King Tut' by singing ancient Phoenician curses & tying a ribbon round it 3 times. Unfortunately the spell didn't wear off & Dora had to hit it with a
  • catalytic converter from a '57 Chevy blessed by seven impotent Druidic priests as foretold in the Book of the Almost Dead. The metal crashed down with a sound like
Started
2011-06-07 00:32:11
Finished
2014-04-19 17:14:56

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    49erFaithful Apr 22 2014 @ 13:01

    YEEEAAAAOOOOUUUCCHH!!!!!

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