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Scientists have grown a miniature "human

  • Scientists have grown a miniature "human brain" the size of a pea, in a feat they hope will
  • win them a Nobel prize. Top biologist, Phyllis Deuce, cracked open a mouse skull & inserted the mini human brain. Putting the mouse in her pocket, she forgot about it until
  • she was at Father Joe's Funeral. Squawkers was giving a tear jerking eulogy when the mouse crawled out. Phyllis Deuce had to introduce her mouse with a human brain to the crowd.
  • Sadly, at first, Phyllis thought it read Squawkers was jerking his mouse, so when it came time for the introduction she was all hot and bothered. Finally, she got it together and
  • stood before the crowd, and thinking that since Squawkers jerked a mouse, she should continue with the small mammal theme, and flashed her beaver to the bereaving crowd.
  • The crowd did not like the beaver she flashed, so they got up their razors in rebellion and said "shave it, my peoples!".
  • This crowd was obnoxious. Full of loud mouths and half wits. Most were probably tanked or suffering from gout. The whole lot of them probably smoked generic cigarettes. This is why
  • crowd control was absolutely necessary. A battalion of little people came streaming out, carrying billy clubs and tazers. The cheerleaders ran away screaming. Then out of the sky
  • came the master crowd controller, with gallons of tear gas to use on
  • baby-finding robots who spray tear gas on babies, thereby making millions of babies cry at once and creating a vibration so strong the very fabric of time and space was torn, so

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