I don't go to the casino to gamble, I go

  • I don't go to the casino to gamble, I go to drink. In peace. Nowhere else in this fuckhole of a city can you get peace at 3.30am. I drink. And I think. Some of my best thoughts
  • are about leaving this fucking city and everyone in it, Carl included. I don't even care if the baby is his or if drinking at 3am in a casino is bad for me, the only thing
  • that matters is this warm beer and my pride. So Jim left Carl and became a chimney sweep in Toronto. But little Carl, he started making burgers, he open a shop and called it
  • Delux Ultra Burger World Planet 2. Business was great at first, but little Carl flew into a rage whenever people tried to abbreviate the name. Jim the chimneysweep, meanwhile
  • ashed the fries. Jim seemed to be covered in soot at all times. Chimney-sweeping wasn't the healthiest profession. "But at least I don't work here," he told little Carl.
  • Little Carl was only 5 years old, and Jim was like a father to him. He looked up to Jim for advice. Little Carl dreamed of being a chimney sweeper like Jim. As Carl ate his fries,
  • Jim regarded him thoughtfully. "You know, Carl, there are other things you could be beside a chimney sweeper. How about an accountant or a doctor?" Jim tousled Carl's hair roughly.
  • His toupee came off and grew golden wings. The toupee then flew out the window and headed south with a whoosh. Carl was bald! His Gene Simmons wig arrived and walked towards him.
  • Carl recoiled in fear. The Gene Simmons wig with detachable man bun would swallow him whole. It lifted off the dressing table and hovered ominously like a dark storm cloud.
  • A tongue glanced out from the wig and grabbed Carl, rolling him back up into itself, and with a sinister cackle it rose out into the night like a hairy drone. You may be next!


  1. Woab Oct 12 2017 @ 16:08

    Ooh! Firebolt picked up that Jim was like a father to little Carl without any clues. Nice!

  2. Firebolt391d Oct 14 2017 @ 00:17

    Thanks Woab! I really like the way you finished that one off!

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