"You misheard me," I said, hands raised.
- "You misheard me," I said, hands raised. "I said 'terran-ist.' Means I hold the belief that Mars should be treated as a colony, not independent. Can you put the guns down, please?"
- How could I know they were martians in human guise? No sooner had the declaration left my mouth I was whisked into their mothership & probed EVERYWHERE, then taken to their queen.
- "Oh, good grief! Please relax, you silly boney human blobby pants! The Martians of your system have been dead a long while. But enough about them." I wriggled against the
- mattresses that crowded the atmosphere of this strange planet. My alien captor continued, inches from my face on account of the mattresses at both of our backs. "We are descended
- from the Tempur-Pedic species," the alien explained. I could see tiny bed bugs crawling all over its face. "You've made your bed & now must lie in it!" The mattresses prodded me
- hard with its long, alien fingers. "I don't want to lie in it!" I screamed, but those fingers at other ideas. They clutched me and pulled me down until I was lying right on the
- alien's amniotic fluid. For a moment I cursed what was about to happen and at the same time I relished making the sacrifice that another Citizen wouldn't have to. The alien pulled
- down its tinfoil pants and mooned me. I know I deserved it, after stealing its amniotic fluid. I feigned disgust (it actually had a cute derriere) and the alien hopped back into
- its high-tech frying pan and just sat there and fried! "I'm sorry I stole your amniotic fluid," I cried, tugging on one of the alien's appendages, "stop cooking yourself!"
- But it continued,testing doneness by slurping its tentacle & then rapidly consumed itself, so I served a prize-winning amniotic bouillon & the stock remained a secret foreevermore.
- Started
- 2018-04-29 00:47:46
- Finished
- 2018-05-01 13:40:47
7 Comments
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Woab May 03 2018 @ 15:34
Well, this was bizarre.
IceSquad May 04 2018 @ 08:32
Yeah, who can keep a blockbuster recipe secret for so long?
IceSquad May 04 2018 @ 08:33
Oh, and why is that last word written in Dutch?
Woab May 04 2018 @ 15:51
Don't all aliens speak Dutch?
SlimWhitman May 04 2018 @ 18:42
Is "foreevermore" Dutch?
BlastedHeath May 04 2018 @ 21:42
It is now!
SlimWhitman May 06 2018 @ 06:45
Klingon, Ewokese, Na'vi, it's all Dutch to me.