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"Do the truffle-shuffle!" we pleaded. However,

  • "Do the truffle-shuffle!" we pleaded. However, all of our efforts in convincing Nathan his 7th grade picture made him look like Chunk from the Goonies were in vain.
  • He continued his mildly amusing dance, causing the Turner Uppgren to faint in laughter and
  • his dead squirrel jumped off his head and then
  • snagged his toupee with its hind legs. The hunter at the next table pulled his assault rifle. As far as he was concerned, undead squirrels were synonymous with "open season"
  • so he pulled the trigger. A line of bullets ripped though the little balls of zombie fur--their torsos exploding into small puffs of red gore. "Get the toupee!" he screamed.
  • The zombie pleaded...Don't take my hair. I am not only the Hair Club owner, I am also a client! I took no notice.
  • I started rounding them up and grabbing them in handfuls, shoving them into a cage. Boy, were they vicious zombie hairs!
  • Nothing is more disgusting that the undead and unshaven. I have a titanium Gilette razor, I don't chop the heads of zombies, I make them as smooth as a dead baby's bottom. Time to
  • slather on the Edge shaving cream -- formaldehyde scent. The shaved zombies looked quite dapper actually. However, nothing could get rid of the nasty
  • taste in their mouths from the Scope mouthwash. It was hard expel the taste of death. Yet they were satisfied with all they had accomplished with the stolen pharmacy products.

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