Unmoving, remote, inscrutable, The Man in

Unmoving, remote, inscrutable, The Man in the Woods would sometimes startle various hikers as they passed his way and left either spooked or frustrated at his nonresponsiveness. O

Ne day, two bikers found him in an owl costume, but it was no costume. He had grown wings and learned to fly in three days. His mum was amazed. His IQ was 160.

He learned how to do that at Wizarding school of course, where he passed his OWLS with flying colors. His mum was so proud she threw him a party. It was a real hoot.

"Wish I had a mum," Harry said to him at the birthday party. "My mum's dead." "Christ, 'Arry," Hermione said, "Is everything about you?" "Batman understands me," He said to himse

-lf, slowly drawing a plastic Batman mask over his face. "I am Batman," Harry growled. Hermione rolled her eyes, muttering "You're wearing your Aquaman pajamas. This isn't even a

sad attempt, Harry. It's truly pathetic." And then she turned and strode briskly out of the room. Ron leaned over to Harry and muttered darkly in his ear "She's mad, that girl. I

am sure I can prove it too." Harry's hesitation told him Harry already knew. But did Harry now know that he knew? I never expected this seminar on TPS Reports was going to be fun!

Not that I am saying it is fun. I just want to make clear that had I thought about it fun would not be what I would have expected. That I can entertain the notion tells it all.

So really what I'm saying is that it's a total drag and I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't need the money to pay my psychiatrist, who has been sending threatening emails. So off I

went with a pimp in Vail, Colorado, and he told me how to use it. Which i did, but how did I know that I would lose it. I can't excuse it, given the choice I wouldn't choose it.