My stepdad's a real tosser. He used to ask

  • My stepdad's a real tosser. He used to ask me 'So, Tommy, on the whole, how many girls have you kissed?' and smirk to himself. He's most of the reason I bailed out at 14 and live
  • in the monkey house with my friend Bobo. There's no stinky girls there! I don't care if i,m already 14, Throwing poop fun and no stepdad is gonna take that away from me!
  • But his stepdad liked to catch the poop in a velcro wallet so the two of them went out into the backyard and
  • opened their wallets, waiting hopefully for the stinking packages to fall from the Heavens. They stood there silently for an hour or so, until their necks cramped. His stepdad shoo
  • k a can of coke and sprayed it in everybody's faces to get them out of their stupor. Disappointed and sticky, the crowd began to disperse. He was the only one left when the package
  • started ticking. The bomb squad had declared it a false alarm, but my instincts told me differently. The comedy club bombed? We needed to laugh and make fun of stupid things we
  • were forced to do behind the scenes at comedy central, but it wasn't a false alarm. It was a bad joke bomb! I tried to cover my ears but it was too late. I heard the first line, "
  • A priest,a rabbi and a duck went into a bar and the little boy peting the bulldog sitting at the hillbilly's feet said:-Knock,knock...
  • But no one was in the mood to laugh. Not after what happened. So we did what any other self-respecting Boy Scouts would do. We pretended we were normal and went on to the jamboree
  • although we stayed away from the scoutmasters' shelter None one took them up on their offer to check out their "big tent pole". Everyone, that is, except Dan. Oh, Dan!


  1. SlimWhitman Nov 03 2012 @ 17:24

    Bad joke does not equal dirty joke. But I guess if you start like that it will be a dark tale...

  2. mensaque Nov 04 2012 @ 11:23

    That's what I was going for,Slim.Sorry if you feel it didn't work--maybe if it was a fold not so close to the end...

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