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"When you are all grown and live in a hut,

  • "When you are all grown and live in a hut, send me a photo of your baby's butt." Renowned archaeologist Kate Blech was astonished; the inscription was authentic, but Angkor Wat
  • had many other interesting artifacts with strange scrawls on them. There was a time she discovered a holy relic in the same river that contained writings translating to
  • "if you can read this, then the end of the world is coming". And this text on a holy relic must have a meaning. At the time when she found it, she was researching ancient
  • stone tablets which showed that pinball machines were of ancient Sumerian origin. Now it was the end of the world. She redoubled her efforts to discover the first Pinball Wizard
  • it was the only way she'd be able to restart Earth's heartbeat. Skydiving out of a merchant plane, she landed in the approximate location where museum curators claimed it was taken
  • by an angry Liam Neeson stunt double, who'd scribbled a note on his complimentary airline napkin: "I don't know who you think you are, but if you don't stop, I will find you."
  • This scared me so much I became a cat named Susie. A tiger cat and one who never went outdoors except to eat grass. Knowing they never harassed cats like they do humans, I enjoyed
  • my feline privilege while it lasted. Eventually they tired of harassing the humans and ended up exterminating them. Then their attention fell upon us, the cats. I had my niche in
  • litter removal so I knew a lot of unsavory types in the underworld who owed me a favor. I coughed up a furball. I would need all the help I could get to get out of the city.
  • I looked at the furball I had just coughed up, and realized that was all I really needed. Who can focus on anything with a lump of fur in their throat?

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