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The highest of honours have endowed me today.

  • The highest of honours have endowed me today. A writer named Ambika, of whom had higher stature than me, decided to follow my path in the Quest of the FoldingStory. My joy was
  • nonexistent as I had always loathed Ambika. No real reason, just that I was runner up to her in the Charro-lookalike contest seventeen years ago when I should have been crowned.
  • Jealous of Ambika I determined anything she could fold I could fold better. Only in reality I couldn't. I folded laundry. They came out lumps. I folded batter. It came out lumps.
  • I folded my brow. It came out knitted. I folded mountains. They came out valleys. I folded my arms. They came out pompous. I folded sheep. They said "flock you". I just folded.
  • That is, until that one unfortunate winter when I slipped on ice and hit my head. When I woke up, I realized I had forgotten how to fold! My one passion, gone! What was I to do?!
  • I stared at the words before my eyes as the timer ticked towards zero. The numbers turned red. They seemed to speed up. With 0:05 to go, I panicked and closed the page.
  • Just as the page closed I saw all my typos and grammatical mistakes. What had I done? Would the others think less of me? I hung my head in shame as the fold posted. I was doomed.
  • A sob caught in my throat. I considered the vastness of the void. It was as if I sent words into an endless starving sentient cave, naïve of the ripple caused. Heaving sigh. No.
  • The experience left me raw; an open wound just begging for some passing vampiric entity from another dimension to come along and partake. Many partook until I was just a shell with
  • a small bag of dried cheese product that you were supposed to add hot water to in order to make a cheese sauce. You just had to make it about your shit vampiric entity, didn't you?
Started
2016-03-16 21:40:51
Finished
2018-04-13 19:54:49

5 Comments

  1. Avatar

    LordVacuity Apr 13 2018 @ 19:56

    They do say that breaking up is hard to do.
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Apr 14 2018 @ 03:21

    Often they sing it too. Cheesy, if you ask me.
  3. Avatar

    Woab Apr 16 2018 @ 10:56

    Didn't Charro do the Macaroni?
  4. Avatar

    LordVacuity Apr 16 2018 @ 18:09

    She did but she coochie coochie coo'd them a bit too much and we're now callling it arroz de concha.
  5. Avatar

    LordVacuity Apr 16 2018 @ 18:11

    It pairs quite well with a Bud Light Orange Peel inside a trashbin.

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