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In an attempt to improve his writing, he

  • In an attempt to improve his writing, he rereads the folds he has contributed to. But he realizes with horror that the word "but" was overused in many of them, but being hard on hi
  • or good-byes, he never finished a sentence 'but' would continue to write, 'therefore' his need of conjunctions, 'as to' this example, 'in addition to'
  • which there developed an overwhelming urge to roccoco up his sentences even more, 'wheretofor' he scoured Restoration plays for inspiration, 'but' what he gained in style, he lost
  • in significance, 'therefore' his flowery, ornate phrases were not fit for graffiti on a pseudo-intellectual toilet stall, 'furthermore' he alienated his friends with grandiloquent
  • and verbose patois heretofore unheard of in these parts, and thusly, he is banned from further verbal intercourse. Forthwith, upon future lexical encounters, he must refrain; i.e.
  • he must enjoin himself from circumlocutious banter or verbiage battery in any sort of moments whena vernacular interaction occurs. Instead, said felonious gibble-gabble shall
  • be met n challengered with and or without verbal repremendation. Upon declosure of this or many other courts regarding dioarhhea, diorama, or and defunct dialects, direct yourself
  • to the nearest bakery. Sorry, am I getting off topic? I just simply ADORE this nearby cake store. Oh, their buns are DELICIOUS! What was I talking about, again?
  • It didn't matter. No one was listening to me anyway. (SIGH) Oops I did it again. I laughed at myself. Sauntering over to the punch bowl, I spiked it with lighter fluid.
  • I jumped into a nearby bush, waiting for the terror to unfold. Oh sweet lord, is that who I think it is? What is Michelle Obama doing at this party? DONT LET HER DRINK THE PUNCH
Started
2014-10-20 15:49:21
Finished
2014-12-10 22:36:10

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Dec 13 2014 @ 15:56

    Not to engage in circumlocutious toilet stall speculation butt is it coincidence that heyassbutt69 finished this story?

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