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I was eating breakfast when my roommate came

  • I was eating breakfast when my roommate came up. He was holding a wild hedgehog in a most menacing and intimidating manner. "Did you eat my last ding dong." he growled.
  • I had. It was moist and delicious. I didn't regret it. I said "The consumer of the ding dong is irrelevant to these proceedings. In point of fact, harboring an Atelerix albiventris
  • is punishable by having your ding dong eaten by a bear whilst you are fully conscious. Why bears crave ding dong is a mystery. Just then Sherlock Holmes arrived. " I hear you have
  • managed to get yourself into quite the pickle" he stopped, looking at me expectantly "get it? Pickle? Oh nevermind. Here is what you do my dear boy...
  • first, you wash up real good. Double sack duty...just in case. Then you eat 6 raw oysters. Again, just in case. When grandpa gave me dating advice it gave me the creeps. What
  • kind of oysters were he talking about?! Such a perv. and like...she was all..BLEHHHH ME SO PRETTY. double sack duty is a job for my double D titties. But I still need to wash up to
  • clean up my... Just then the oysters attacked me. I swear! Only moments ago, I was joking and like, just...you know. EWWWWW! SOoooo gross. Yuck! My blouse is all covered with
  • clumps of gooey, gray oyster gunk. Nasty stuff, and smelly, ugh! The blasted bivalves backed away then, but the damage was done. I charged out of the room to change out my shirt
  • .That's when I noticed a shadowy figure peeping at me through the window & breathing heavily. PERV! Well 2 can play at that game. I scooped up the oyster gunk & rubbed it over my b
  • and also my T's and A. That got some attention! The shadowy figure fell off of the step-ladder and into the rose bushes with a loud clatter! By the time I got outside, they'd gone.
Started
2014-02-03 12:07:26
Finished
2014-02-20 21:26:23

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