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My spaniel, Birdy, loves me very very much.

  • My spaniel, Birdy, loves me very very much. But if she could find a way of doing it without getting told off, then she'd eat me all up. I have no illusions about this whatsoever
  • because I'm a dualized realist. My addiction to esoteric philosophy is exactly what makes Birdy, my spaniel, what eat my flesh. Her beady eyes drill holes into my throat whenever I
  • would quote Pee Wee Herman: "There are things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand." My dog Birdy drooled & semi-bit my neck.
  • I pulled Birdy's canines from my jugular. She bit me, because I smelled of bacon, and Birdy likes bacon. Pee Wee likes it too, but prefers sausages. He's never bitten
  • a woman that he didn't later marry. Unfortunately, my teleportation experiment went awry when Birdy flew into the source pod where Pee Wee sat snacking on a Jimmy Dean link.
  • Pee Wee was hungry like the wolf sitting next to him. The wolf had a pack of Jimmy Dean links and shared them with Pee Wee. He didn't care if they were from a wolf, he was hungry.
  • As he finished his last Jimmy Dean link, Pee Wee wondered if it had been a mistake to accept the links from the wolf. The links were gone and the wolf would be hungry again at some
  • point. Pee Wee began to weave a net using the long grass. When the wolf finally returned with a hungry look in his eye, Pee Wee threw the net over him. The wolf rolled his eyes
  • and chomped through the grass net with ease. "Apex predator," he said, pointing to himself with a wolfy claw to remind Pee Wee. "Talking wolf!" Pee Wee screamed, forgetting all his
  • manners and ran to the nearest wolf-raid-shelter. On his way, he did a Wee Pee in his trousers. Pee Wee was mortified, and so stayed in the bunker, eating beans until he turned 80.
Started
2013-06-13 13:31:45
Finished
2018-06-29 13:01:19

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jun 30 2018 @ 04:20

    A Wee Pee :-)
  2. Avatar

    ValkyrieGrrl Jul 26 2018 @ 17:37

    Apex Predator! Perfection!

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