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A sweet and precocious girl age 7 wrote "i

  • A sweet and precocious girl age 7 wrote "i know how the sun shines... it's a ball of fire." in a folding story. It didn't ft and she was branded a troll. "Is there a better way?"
  • Her father withdrew his savings and hired a music producer to make her a hit. In 24 hours Rebecca Clark was recording "Friday" proving that
  • Justin Bieber wasn't the only whiny-voice teenager who could make grown adult claw out their ear canals with pickle forks. Meanwhile, the young Ms. Clark's YouTube video
  • went viral, infecting even the furthest reaches of China. The President and Batman formed an emergency commitee; clearly, something had to be done. Unfortunately, it was crashed by
  • an unexpected tidal wave, unrelated to the viral outbreak. This isn't Hollywood, and stuff doesn't always happen for a reason. Escaping in a special submersible, the committee
  • determined the best course of action was to form a bipartisan submersible subcommittee dedicated to planning for future viral outbreaks and/or tidal waves. At the first meeting
  • they ordered papa john's and just dicked around for awhile. It was taxpayers' money going to waste, not theirs, so why bother with efficiency? Then the submersible subcommittee
  • chewed on the deep dish for a while. The congressmen sat back on the couches and watched America's Got Talent. Someone piped up, "16 Billion for the Trident?" They all said "Aye!"
  • If only the congressman had REALLY been paying attention. "Aye" was not legislative affirmation, but spelling the secret code "E-I-E-I-O" in order to release the undead army
  • of zombie sheeple from their mouldering lairs of hoarded goods. A mindlessly ravenous citizenry makes for a healthy economy. He knew he deserved a Medal of Honor for this.
Started
2011-03-17 08:18:28
Finished
2011-11-27 10:34:21

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Nov 27 2011 @ 13:31

    Sheeple? Well, he deserved a few likes anyway. ;-)
  2. Avatar

    Chaz Nov 28 2011 @ 00:37

    Somewhere in New Zealand, a mad scientist has a brilliant idea...

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