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This is a story about a guy who played golf.

  • This is a story about a guy who played golf. He worked harder and harder each day but couldn't get any better. One day he decided to go see a guru. The guru said these words to him
  • "Hear these words of wisdom! For I am a golfing guru. The secret to golfing success is to *cough* *splutter*". The guru died before he could impart his golfing wisdom to Gerald.
  • Fortunately for Gerald, he'd never had more than a passing interest in golf. He turned back to the matter at hand.
  • Gerald tossed the tennis ball in the air; "Cmon, twist serve! Don't you dare fail me now!"
  • Focus, focus, focus...I dare not get to anxious. I am finally here, I have diligently prepared for this moment. It will not break me. I let it go, closed my eyes for a split second
  • I could swear I had super-human strength. So, I came out of my shell. I tore open my shirt and shouted iwth a confident voice, "Here I am world! Here is the mighty
  • 'Whoop Ass Factory!"" I then began to march down the street, pumping my arms and legs like a steam engine and making chugging sounds. When I was directly in front of my new enemy,
  • I blew a whistle and came to a stop, then yelled "ALL ABOARD!". My enemy obligingly hopped on board my imaginary train, and then I realized just how silly this all was. "Y'know,
  • I'm still going to kill you, I don't care if you play my favorite game, imaginary soul train ride, with me or not. There's too much bad blood between us, you killed my father,
  • my mother, my grandmother, my dog, my pet stick insect... the list goes on. That's why I have strapped you to this imaginary Soul Train and we're standing near Niagara Falls. Bye!
Started
2015-02-12 14:59:27
Finished
2015-12-04 02:25:06

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