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Why they mistook me for Thomas Pynchon,

  • Why they mistook me for Thomas Pynchon, I'll never know. I was just leaving the shop with my new pig suit when I was shoved into the back of a white panel van. They showed me a
  • photo and said, this is Thomas Pynchon, and that's you. But the photo was not of Thomas Pynchon, it was Clarence Thomas, which is my brother. He's a Supreme Court Justic and I'm a
  • Coca-Cola bottler. Our relatives call us the Coke and the Joke.
  • We've always been Coke and Joke,ever since I can remember.And we've always been very close,ever since we found that sword stuck on a rock and discovered that Joke was King Arthur.
  • Now that he was the royal crown of the round table, he was a royal pain in the tuckus. Lording it all over the place. I went to Merlin for help to bring the band back together.
  • I explained how Arthur had introduced the concept of "first among equals" and insisted on sitting at the center of the table. Merlin suggested we knights form a union and strike
  • but Arthur overheard and explained patiently that although we were all totally equal in his kingdom, some were more equal than others. Merlin wasn't convinced, and the knights
  • mutinied. Lancelot, who was the most "equal" slowly exited the room, (Guinevere was alone in her chamber) Merlin lead the Knights to a discussion with Arthur, "We want better condi
  • ments at feasts, scimitars instead of billhooks, better kneecap protection and Saturdays off.King Arthur struck the Round Table.“Thou art a bunch of lard-bloated pansies!” he raged
  • . King Arthur saw his knights' look of terror. He looked around but didn't see Robin Hood behind him, who shot and killed him. The knights then gave Robin Hood all of their money.
Started
2011-02-23 12:55:33
Finished
2011-08-13 11:30:18

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Chaz Aug 13 2011 @ 11:40

    "Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. " - Dennis the Peasant, Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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