There's a tidal wave coming and the only

  • There's a tidal wave coming and the only hope of stopping it is to detonate a nuclear device at the exact same second the earthquake causing the wave stops shuddering
  • The atomic bomb shock waves acted as noise canceling headphones for the great tsunami. Who knew tactical nukes could mitigate all sorts of natural disasters?
  • And though old man Nobuo was no physicist, he explained to the horrified onlookers that while the tsunami could be nuked into submission, the old gods of the deep would suffer no
  • such disturbance to their slumber. Their choice, said Nobuo, was to face the tsunami that was to come, or the angry gods of the deep. His nephew called 1-800-SUM-KRAKN for advice.
  • The advice itself was tentacly and suckered him into buying an eight-tubed vacuum. It worked for about five minutes before he decided to go for the sixteen-legged model.
  • Turns out you need audacity to get the sixteen-legged model. I showed it by wanting one enough to say so in public in the hearing of 3 secret auditors selected by the Unseen Host.
  • I've had her for a while now, and I must say that the sixteen-legged model is eight times what the two-legged kind are. Eight times as demanding. Eight times as vain. But when it
  • comes to Irish dancing, boy can that one 16-legged model outdo an entire cast of Riverdance! I decided to mount a dance show starring her, calling it Creekdance. Then her demands
  • to have each of her 16 legs individually insured with double indemnity clauses for them and herself as beneficiaries. I balked at the cost. Double indemnity sounds like extra cost.
  • Gradually & grudgingly I reached for my cheque book, only to discover it bereft of its last cheque. Alas! I would have to sign away my soul to pay for the insurance.


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