23

My dear Matilda, I write this romantic suicide

  • My dear Matilda, I write this romantic suicide note with the most melancholic of intentions. I gingerly clutch this quill when I could use my Ipad. But my love is too wide and
  • too extensive to limit to only the characters of text. I cannot fathom leaving you without telling you a sweet goodbye
  • . It's impossible for me to even begin to get my head around going without a final farewell. Imagine that I'm Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes and you're a little monkey-type
  • who likes bushy browed primates with hairy chests and I'm singing my swansong in orangutan wooping dialect, and pretend your uncle is a gibbon who doesn't like our monkey business
  • "But, dad! Mom said we can't do that anymore. Not after the last time, when Bobby was adopted by Jane Goodall and sent to the London Zoo for a seventeen month exhibit. She said he
  • helped them at the Goodall Center to decipher the Rosetta Banana. He had broken the code that kept fellow primates from communicating with each other. Soon chimps and humans would
  • be able to converse using a common language. The question remained: What in hell would chimps and humans say to each other that was so damn important? After all, the chimps thought
  • very profound thoughts, while the humans could only think about how many people had 'liked' them on social media. The chimps gave up, built themselves a space ship and launched
  • their long-awaited mission to Mars. For years, the chimps had been struggling with their divided loyalties to human, and here was an idea moment to unite and leave Earth forever.
  • People begged for them not to go. But it was already too late. They were on another planet now, leaving the humans alone. Mars was colonized by chimps before thahumans could ever
Started
2013-11-01 10:09:27
Finished
2020-01-05 17:42:51

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Jan 06 2020 @ 12:12

    We hereby welcome TheBlueArmy to the league of folders who have left the story stranded. But it's okay. We'll try to finish it down here. So: look up from their phones to notice they had gone for good. The End
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jan 07 2020 @ 02:44

    Planet of the Chimps!

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!