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Chet Chalmers tore the NYT in half and tossed

  • Chet Chalmers tore the NYT in half and tossed it. It was a quaint but cheap bit of stagecraft. "Team, we cannot afford to let Conquest make headway into our noodle empire. Ideas?"
  • "Mr. Chalmers, we could try my new show." In no time flat, NYT had: "When I was told I couldn't have children, I became a psychic medium. I'm Kim Russo. This is the Haunting of
  • Emenia Shzrodiga. The ghost of a strange little girl from a far away land that died here in the early 30's. They say she was very, very beautiful, but this was all taken away when
  • she was employed in a factory and due to poor safety standards fell into a vat of caustic acid up to her waste. Emenia haunts greedy employers who shirk on paying for safety equipm
  • ent...and an ant went and sent her auntie to the hospital!What could Emenia do?She was but a gosth now...
  • and what was a gosth to do? Emenia meant well when she gave her auntie an ant farm. How could she have known they were armed and dangerous fire ants? Now Auntie was bedridden
  • from the very start due to a lack of sobriety. Auntie was drunk all the time. Her alcoholic vapor breath had put the ants to sleep in the ant farm that Emenia bought her Auntie.
  • The worker ants took to walking over her when she passed out, just to let her know how much they disliked her. Then they went to Emenia's room and slammed the door, taking the farm
  • with them. They sat inside, crossing their tiny ant arms and grumbling. "This is unbelievable. We must do something else," an ant said. Another one looked up. "I have the perfect
  • recipe for gazpacho!" So the ants opened a restaurant called Aunt Ant's Eatery, but cutomers were weirded out by all the ants inside, so they had to file for bankruptcy. Dumb ants!
Started
2013-01-08 00:15:19
Finished
2016-08-17 13:44:02

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Aug 17 2016 @ 13:47

    I was so relieved to see that I wasn't the only folder who mis-typed in this one. "fell into a vat of caustic acid up to her waste" is a very funny line, whether or not it was intentional.
  2. Avatar

    BlastedHeath Aug 17 2016 @ 21:13

    I like how this immediately got spun, and I especially liked and laughed at "crossing their tiny ant arms and grumbling" :-) Thanks, AshWriter!

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