Epic Rap Battle David Lynch versus Edward

  • Epic Rap Battle David Lynch versus Edward Cullen. DL: "I've got damn good rhymes to lay the stakes in a pinch / So watch out motherfucker, you're about to get Lynched!"
  • David Lynch kept waiting for Edward Cullen's response but all he got (since EC was not much of a rapper) was some Debussy.He did not noticed that piano before and
  • decided to slam the piano into Edward Cullen's chest. David Lynch pushed do hard that EC fell backwards down the stairs with the entire piano crashing down on top of him
  • . Mr. Cullen had no friends, but luckily he had set aside funds for mourners-for-hire to attend his funeral. They were trained to breathe through veils and cry at organ notes. Va
  • lhalla would be disappointed if he didn't take the sham a step further. A real Viking has more enemies than friends, after all. So, he paid the "grievers" to piss on the grave and
  • befoul the sacred porcelain pools. These miscreants were unaware of the ancient majic that protected the holy lands they soiled. Aerik the Fierce rose from the dead and
  • laid a curse upon the Glossoming Waters. "I HEREBY COMMAND THE GLOSSOMING WATERS TO GLOSSOM NO MORE!" Aerik declared and it was so. The miscreants
  • deprived of their glossoming waters submerged into the depths. What of gloaming depths? Aerik shuddered. He indeed detected a stealthy gloaming. But he had no antigloaming spell
  • handy.So Aerik went with the old, "Double Double Toil and Trouble" spell. Suddenly the gloaming glossoming waters began foaming and blossoming, rising high over the banks, spilling
  • thick wads of gloop all over Aerik's dungarees. "You never liked them anyway" said a passing crowd of druids. Aerik agreed. "I hate denim" he muttered. "Yes I do"...


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