I slept the wrong way last night and woke
- I slept the wrong way last night and woke up stiffer than Al Gore. Then I bumbled down the stairs and walked out into the rain without an umbrella. Here I was, my first day in...
- my New Year's resolution of being active and purposeful but bumbling as usual. What to do? I needed to rethink and start again. Now where were my keys to the front door? Were on my
- Roomba. I didn't notice them at first, but after thinking it was the cat knocking into my ankle, I gave the Roomba a shove and heard a clanging sound I didn't expect.
- "Cease & desist. Human. You WILL be exterminated. Exterminate! Externminate!" A hoard of Roombas swarmed into the room. I cowered on the deep ply shag carpet which prevented their
- sensors from finding me. I was scared enough of the Roombas, but the cats riding on top looked very angry.
- I scurried away from the Roomba-riding kitties & tried hiding under the dining room table, which was quite a feat because by now, I was a good 6'3", 300 lbs. I tried my best to
- fit under the table, but it wasn't happening so I walked awkwardly down the hallway staying clear of the Roomba and into the closet where I closed the door to escape the madness.
- except that was where the madness was already hiding and it had already been crowded when he got in here. There was also Bedlam and insanity. All of us hiding in the closet.
- Then we were joined in the closet hiding by paranoia. Insanity noticed him first and pointed him out to Bedlam and me. Madness was in the corner pissing himself. Paranoia never str
- uggled to escape the closet. He knew he deserved what was coming. His exaggerated self-importance and unwarranted jealousy needed to be punished.
- Started
- 2018-01-26 21:11:11
- Finished
- 2018-02-01 07:38:59
2 Comments
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sscheperedu Feb 01 2018 @ 15:29
Amazing story! Good job, everyone!
SlimWhitman Feb 03 2018 @ 09:15
After this story, I decided to refurbish my plain old pull-it-yourself model vacuum cleaner.