"Man, I tell you da true fuckin' story, dawg."
- "Man, I tell you da true fuckin' story, dawg." Jar^2 sat back and sipped another coif of Claret. "My original script had me like Han Solo. Fuckin' bustin' heads, usin' bitches,
- smokin' pipes, poppin' ass... Maaan, I tell ya, I was the Gungan Snoop Dogg. But Lucas thought it would be too "risky", so he went with the "comic" relief option. Fo' Shizzle
- Dizzle Daisies' sake! He made me audition at Boom Chicago and of course it was a disaster. Nobody laughed when I shot that guy who dared to walk out of the theater. People have no
- -ticed that I have become a psycho killer and that has made auditioning for off-broadway shows difficult. Everytime I'm in the running for a part, this urge to kill comes over me
- and I'd leap to the edge of the stage, curl out my hands and cry, "I'll kill you, you horrific bastards!" Every time the director would yell, "We're looking for ____, not _____."
- He'd mutter something unintelligable in the blanks. Finally, exasperated I stuttered "You ___! I'm gonna ___ your ___ like an accordian !!! The director yelled "Yes! That's perfec
- t! CUT!" Satisfied, I slumped into my actor's chair and took a swig of my Gatorade. Someone had made a mad lib movie and the script was really hard to work with. The next scene
- called for 14 yellow dogs to drink all the way to China. After that, an army of unborn giant wastebaskets was poised for <not submitted>. This mad lib script wasn't even complete!
- They were about to put it to the lighter when Jonesy noticed the odd folds in the last few pages. "Gimmee that Mad Lib book!" And started folding. "My God! It's a map of
- Fort Knox with an intricate plan for a <adjective><noun> to <verb> the joint! <Exclamation>! only <your best friend> can be responsible!
- Started
- 2011-10-02 17:38:42
- Finished
- 2012-09-28 07:22:30
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