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Umbrellas surrounded Jamir, but this was

  • Umbrellas surrounded Jamir, but this was no art installation. It was in fact
  • a severe hallucination brought about by a psychotic break Jamir had suffered after being fired from his job as an umbrella salesman at Harrod's. In the middle of the London Undergr
  • aduate Chess Tournament, the hallucinations flared up again. The pieces came to life and shot flaming arrows. Jamir was dragged from the room as he screamed, "The rook is on fire!"
  • Suddenly, the brick wall of the gym exploded in a shower of confetti and baseball cards. "RAWR" roared the Fat Lion, clad in a birthday hat and matching suit. The queen was
  • outraged, and immediately set about writing a proclamation condemning the Fat Lion to at least ten years in the notorious mines of
  • which he had earlier spoken of. The Fat Lion wasn't really that bothered, he had faced mines like those before and had even made himself a tidy sum from smuggled diamonds.
  • But what the Fat Lion didn't like was Elton John parading around in his diamonds. The Fat Lion grabbed two cosmopolitans and walked over to the aging star and said,
  • "Look Elton, we both know I have more talent in my pinky finger than you did in the last ten years." The Fat Lion threw the cosmopolitans in his face and walked off. Elton ran to
  • the liquor store and spent the next three weeks trying to get drunk enough to compose a true musical masterpiece. He ended up with a 10 minute score entitled "Elton is the baddest
  • truck driver in the whole damn town and if you ever forget it I'll come to your house and beat the crap out of you." The song sold reasonably well, and was featured in a movie.
Started
2011-05-23 19:36:01
Finished
2011-12-01 18:37:54

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Dec 02 2011 @ 19:42

    Nice work - from Umbrella angst to Elton rage in 10 lines.

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