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"This is just awful!", said the mother as

  • "This is just awful!", said the mother as she fell asleep.
  • She'd been getting up every two hours and her breast milk wasn't enough for the sextuplets but they were allergic to formula. She needed a nurse maid if they even existed anymore.
  • She soon found an iron-nippled, 3/4 Swede, 1/4 cow named Helga, whose skill set (beyond breast feeding sextuplets) included dusting and bull riding. But Helga was a "mad cow," so
  • I took her "mad milk" and made it into "mad cheese". Then I slaughtered her into "mad beef" and cooked her into a "mad hamburger", which I ate and then I took a "mad shit". "Mad
  • World” repeated at full volume on my boombox, making my neighbor “wicked mad.” He went on a “mad tear,” and blew up my double-wide like a “mad scientist.” I was now a no“mad"
  • Dog" but I wanted to show the "Mad Faces" in the trailer pork who was boss. But no one cared. They watched my trailer burn playing "Mad Libs."
  • The words scorched a hole in my soul. It was the pork rinds i was after. Had always been. You can take thengirl out of thentrailer park, but you can't take
  • the girl out of the trailer park. Wait, flip that, reverse it. Wait, what was I saying? Ohhhh yeah, the pork rinds. These weren't your store bought el cheapo funyons. These were
  • gin-u-wine, hair still on 'em' fried pig skins. Just like mom used to make. I just about hurled right there at the picnic. Jr. was munching and smiling. She saw the look on my
  • face. Why did she do it? I will never know.

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