Happy Female Directors are all alike; every

  • Happy Female Directors are all alike; every unhappy Female Director is unhappy in her own way.
  • One particular unhappy female director was unhappy in such a way that, using elastic bands, she strapped burnt pieces of toast to her feet as shoes. Another
  • one often used watermelon peel as a safety helmet while skiing down the staircase of the skyscraper housing the offices. Habits like these solved the problem of surplus headcount
  • among the executive board at Chiquita Urufruiti. It was the honorable way to atone for unfruitful business. Atop the Tokyo Skytree Fukuyo Yudai donned his watermellon helmet & skii
  • , the green attire glistening against the white snowy background. He hesitated when the shot was fired, he wondered if he could trust this skiing equipment made of watermelon.
  • Someone gave him a helpful little nudge, and suddenly he was flying down the slope. Onlookers were showered with black seeds that popped out of his watermelon rind skis.
  • When he got to the bottom of the slope, he was greeted by PEMA (People Against Melon Abuse) officials who took issue with his watermelon skis. Before he could spit a seed, he was
  • charged with spoiling a blind date by leaving the poor fruit stumbling around in the sun for days. In light of a prior conviction for upsetting the apple cart and not giving a fig,
  • Judge Kiwi rejected the apeel, set bail for a melon dollars, & ordered him to ap-pear in court in 30 days. Most felt Judge Kiwi's demands were berry unfair, so the defendant split
  • for a stronger branch of court. This was the final straw, to the point that Marion's face went blue. Rasping for breath, accepting most would find him plum crazy, he made his case.


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