The makers of Snakes on a Plane and Snakes

  • The makers of Snakes on a Plane and Snakes on a Train, bring you Llamas on a Lighrail, Roaches on a Bus, Hyena's on an People Mover, Real Ponies on a Carussel and
  • Goats on a Boat. Goats on a Boat is like Snakes on a Plane but with less screaming and more chewing. The plot follows protagonist Seamus as he negotiates the waters of eastern
  • puddle in the strange land of smoking feet. The land was mostly lava and the waters were infested with with toothless sharks and spiny mermaids. In the story Captain Seamus
  • tries to give a box of cigars to the smoking feet, but they find them to be too ostentatious and decide to make Captain Seamus walk the plank. The spiny mermaids catch him and take
  • him to Neptune. "Houston ground control, this is the mermistress requesting launch permission for me & my 'maids & Seamus Levine. Over." "Mermistress, you are cleared for takeoff!"
  • The space/sea-craft shot into the sky, titanium sails flapping. "So," Seamus Levine began, "any guesses as to how long it might take us to get to Neptune? Like, a week, right?"
  • It took 22,000 days, but we didn't care. The journey was what counted most. Mars provided us a nice hotel to stay in with a concierge and free meals. Of course, we only carried
  • Plutonian Express Chips so we still got credit from their loyalty program. The asses that were in the seats is what counted not how the seat was paid for or by who. 22,000 days lat
  • er, they were STILL arguing about which was more important. Neither the “Asses in the Seats” contingent nor the “How the Seat Was Paid For” delegation gave an inch. In the end, it
  • didn't matter, because the people of Earth generally gave up chairs for wasting away in VR lounges. But the people who chose lying flat over the "Metaverse" created a new society.


  1. LordVacuity Nov 07 2021 @ 20:43

    2 days shy of 5 years in the making.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!