He had only one gift, his farts smelled like

  • He had only one gift, his farts smelled like an awesome Sunday breakfast. But you have to play the hand your dealt and he decided to make his gift work for him by
  • offering his services at the latest five star hotel. They turned their nose up at his appearance, but one fart and punters were poring through the door ordering a full fried
  • egg dinner, a speciality of the chef consisting of fifteen fried eggs on a plate with a card saying, "Eat it and get out." Our man's ugly face also proved useful in scaring off any
  • old people, which was a pity as they were the only ones who could stand the gummy texture of unfertilized bird fetuses."Cookie" (as we called him) cooked nothing but greasy eggs &
  • candied yams. Cookie moped about as chef at our retirement home. He had been trained at the Culinary Institute of Arts and now he was forced to make deviled ham loaf. His prowess
  • at operating microwaves was surpassed only by his prowess at repressing his dreams. Cookie grilled the retirees a well-aged steak, but they couldn't chew it. Not even mashed steak
  • knives helped. Cookie could repress it no more. He dreamed of large false teeth for his old friends. Teeth that had Super Grip. Food couldn't get under there either. No
  • tongues either, cause he & all his old friends new that BigBertha was always on the make. Cookie's denture fetish overcame what little sanity that remained. He saw teeth everywhere
  • Frank tried to talk sense into him. "A muppet with teeth looks stupid. Anyway, you don't actually eat the cookies. You just sort of crumble them." "Me wanna bite BigBertha on da
  • ass!" said the Cookie Monster rudely. The Cookie Monster was a pioneer in establishing workers rights for the muppets. It all started with a dental plan.


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