He was lactose intolerant, that was not the

He was lactose intolerant, that was not the only reason for killing the milkman; you see the milkman was a workaholic: he was Mr Whippy in his weekends, a cheese maker on monday

and swept the hair of new york models off the floor of an upper class hair salon on tuesdays. They walked around like stick insects in a hive, high from the chemicals keeping them

on edge and with a legitimate fear that they would be stung any second. It was that kind of salon, the one you've never heard of. The tips were good though and that's what kept her

hair shiny and smooth

like my glass eye, but my glass eye isn't what's clogging our drain, is it, young lady?

My daughter got back at me by replacing the glass eye on my night stand with the glass onion. I plunked it in my socket the next morning & saw the Walrus sleeping in my bed

Wow, how drunk was I? As the walrus started 2 slowly wake up, I thought the best thing to do was make it breakfast, I hadnt had sex w/a mammal in awhile, so I wasn't sure the proto

col for the "morning after." I was freaked out to realize that I in fact had not had sex with a walrus, but in fact had slept with the nasty creepy dude from IT. OMG, the humanity!

I needed to pull the old switch-a-roo. I woke up before him and paid a homeless person to lay naked in his bed. He'll wake up confused and I'll claim to not what he's talking about