In my time I have been known by many names.

  • In my time I have been known by many names. Son, brother, sweetheart and Pop. To most folk though, I am Derek. Despite this
  • I have four other names that rhyme with sea
  • But none of them help me program in C.
  • Which is why I switched to programming in COBOL with my UNIVAC electronic brain. As long as l had enough vacuum tubes, I might be able to reveal the secrets of the universe.
  • The Universe was a smaller simpler place back then. And warmer too.. My tubes emitted enough heat for Tommy to cook his eggs. The real secrets I revealed were cracking the german
  • sky and revealing the view of the moon to be a projection on a large movie screen. The moon had actually been borrowed by German scientists to power their moon rock-fueled potato
  • cannons that the German scientists learned to make from redneck youtube videos. They could use the moon-rock fuel to shoot a potato into orbit. The CEO of McDonald's
  • began using this technology when he realized that the July Employee of the month was one of the first to attain YouTube fame with potato launching. Sadly, the CEO thought that
  • his quaint team building exercises and casual Fridays would bridge the gap between workforce and management. Little did the CEO know, we had hacked the personnel file long ago and
  • found data suggesting that his company was on a downward spiral. Maybe there was somthing that could be done, but after what happened why would we want to help him? Maybe


Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!