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I've told you before how much I hate it when

  • I've told you before how much I hate it when you
  • when you start your conversation with, "I'm the type of person that..." When you say that the only thing that comes out of your mouth is lies. I don't care if you aer
  • a nun in church. If you tell me you're the type of person that prays every day, I'll be looking for your habit to slip up and reveal a g-string and a tattoo of Madonna licking a
  • cross. I know your type. The kind who's willing to ride any scandal to fame or infamy, it's all the same to you. You'll wear nothing but adult diapers to church to make them gasp.
  • But do they love you? Sure, when you chew off some old lady's cheek, the congregation oohs & ahs, but that's not admiration, that's hypnosis. I've seen you sipping urine from Greek
  • Salad bottles just to spit it into the congregation. Why you became a priest for cannibalistic satanists just because you didn't know what to do with an M.Div. I'll never know.
  • But the collection plate take was always bigger when you could make the cheapskates spontaneously combust. It gave new meaning to Hellfire and Brimstone. The sermons
  • were nothing special. What was important was the gas burners mounted under the pews and pressing the right button at the right time. Once Father Incendo had imbided a bit much and
  • went to lie down in the vestry, we would trigger the explosion, destroying St. Josephine's and the horrible memories that lay within its stone walls. We would be free at last.
  • But then The Moon crashed into Earth. I noticed i was warped to the year 2012. That movie was freaking real. The Moon crashed so hard that i died. Also my friends. I got to hell.

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