I had heard just about enough! So I told
- I had heard just about enough! So I told him, "I didn't order a 1-year supply of BLT's for 10 people, I ordered a 10 year supply of
- DD7," because I lived on an abandoned destroyer in a Navy graveyard. It was covered in rust and lime stains. But the Merchant was a Quaker and he said, "
- How the hell did you just do that?" And I said, "Do not take the Lord's name in vain." To which he replied, "I'm an atheist Quaker." Followed by silence as I worked that one out.
- "Do what thou wilt will be the whole of the law, and eat your oatmeal." he replied to my confusion. I sealed his mouth with duct tape. "Try to be blasphemous now." I said. He took
- it as an offence. "Yeah, see if you like that, Aleister Crowley clown look-a-like!" As he choked on his own vomit,
- he screamed that his anus had been impregnated. Still, anything to put down aging old 70s fop tops who had no business starting up plagiaristic cults. I took a tinkle on his vomit
- , thus raising the beast from his netherworld slumber. "Time's up, narcissist!", it's booming voice shaking the scaffolding. "I've come for all of you dying popsters!"
- The Empire State Building occupants were unimpressed. "Oh, go shove it up your backside, Godzilla! You are so 1945!" Dejected, the beast slunk off to find somebody to play with.
- Being insulted as old fashioned by a chorus of building occupants was the last straw for Godzilla. He was gargling with Xylitol, visited anger management course, and
- after 3 years of intense therapy can now be found delivering meals on wheels in Atlanta. Sometimes he nibbles on the odd octogenarian, but no one much minds.
- Started
- 2011-01-29 02:36:06
- Finished
- 2012-09-18 19:55:45
2 Comments
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Chaz Sep 19 2012 @ 13:42
"Knock, knock" "Who is it?" "Landshark...uh... candy-gram?"
Zetawilk Sep 19 2012 @ 14:32
So are landsharks the new zombie or something?