I was checking my ETSY store every 32 seconds

I was checking my ETSY store every 32 seconds it seems. I had tons of awesome stuff for sale, I have no idea I wasnt getting any hits. Mannequin limbs? Who doesnt love that?
I needed to improve my marketing campaign. Jim Messina recommended hiring a spokesman and advertising before youtube videos. I could only afford C-list celebs at best, but thought
Barney the purple dinosaur would do just fine. Everyone loves dated references right? Barney would be the perfect spokesman to sell their hair gain product. Which is
how purple hair became all the rage among hipsters. "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..." they'd sing in monotone voices, swinging their Barney-hair over their shoulde
r blades. Yes, the cult of Barney. It really did exist and they were just as freaky scary as I had expected them to be when I had only imagined their purple hair existence years
in "fuego." But what the Barney cult really covered up, what the damned purple dinosaur club hid from my view was the extinct "humaness" that television had buried long ago.
It was still intact when Big Bird & Grover roamed Sesame Street. The gradual slide began with Elmo. Then we had the Teletubbies & now Norma and Rodney Roach living in Roachmotel
Row, located on California Avenue, near the famous hotel. Shark Lady stayed there when campaigning in 2016. She almost was eaten alive by Mr. Roach and his family. She hid under
this reference to this moment. Yes there is lots of room under it; enough for one memory anyway. Shark Lady put her family jewels in this reference to this moment now. As you read
this you're asking yourself why a Shark Lady would possess family jewels...the answer is simple...she was a hermaphroditic shark. She was the first of her kind...but not the last!

Started: 2013-07-19 13:35:06
Finished: 2017-02-08 15:09:32

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?