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As he listened to the group discuss how to

  • As he listened to the group discuss how to get around their upcoming drug test, he internally smiled. He was the mastermind behind "National Drug Test day" on 4/21. Sipping
  • a Diet Rockstar, eating a Hostess snowball and 7-11 pizza, he laughed at the others. None of the chemicals in his body would show up in a drug test, unlike theirs. Pot heads
  • were the best. You could pretty much tell them anything, and they'd be like 'cool'. I tried it. "Hey, Jimi Hendrix is touring with the B-52s! Wanna go?" 'cool'. "Hey, I'm going to
  • hang myself, wanna watch?" 'cool'. "Hey I'm dying a slow painful death, wanna rescue me?" 'cool'. "Achoo!" 'cool'. Always the same 'cool' reply, no matter I said to all of the
  • them. This so annoyed me, I began to only say things to which the answer 'cool' would be appropriate. "What's summer in Scotland like?" - cool. "My fridge is..?" - cool. Happier,
  • "Cool beans" was another variation on that theme. The British comedian, Des O'Connor , made jokes I remembered forty plus years later, when I had a tellie. I have no tellie now.
  • Nobody has tellies anymore, and Des O'Connor's jokes have faded from my mind. They broadcasted the news of their arrival through the tellies. They'd been watching us. I think they
  • thought we'd be watching them. But they'd been watching reruns and didn't realize tellies were long over. So everyone missed their broadcast announcing their imminent invasion
  • of the Stop 'n' Shop on 11th street and as a result the tellies were able to take over the store easily. Donning the uniforms of the employees (who had fled eagerly), the tellies
  • Reversed their Buck- Step up transformers. Coordinating a mega surge in power of 400GigaWatts of power. Frying every single circuit in Europe

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