I quit my day job and opened up a restaurant

I quit my day job and opened up a restaurant where we served whole steamed crabs, artichokes, sunflower seeds, and pomegranates. It was all you can eat (30 minute time limit). My
Restaurant had a quirky menu but I went with my gut & served only my favorite foods. When crab & artichokes were out of season, I switched to oysters, grilled fenugreek, & porcini
sliders. I became a food snob. I sneered at everyone's food wherever I went. Once, once when someone ordered a Moons Over My Hammy in my presence I just let him have it. I
lased out at his insensitive ordering of any dish for dinner that contained fried eggs! Don't you have any pride you fool! My pride however was growing at an alarming pace, I could
feel it welling up in my extremities, my forehead, my buttocks. I had breasts where I'd never had breasts before! Those fried eggs had something special in them: cumin? neutrons?
I tried to avoid miserable egg puns while pinpointing what in the eggs caused my mutated, extraneous growths. What could possibly be harmful that came out of a chicken's butt?
I got a rally of scientists together to examine the leftover egg crumbs on my dinner plate. They looked at it through a microscope, before discovering my extraneous growths were
... The lead scientist cleared the room before sitting me down with a glass whisky & a piece of Madeira cake to break the news. "Your extraneous growths are micro-soufflés caused
World War F, that was between Mankind and Frogs (Senegal helped the Frogs). They fought for the control of the production of Madeira wine. Mankind won, but had to sacrifice Laos.
But on unbeknownst to Mankind, the frogs, deep within a cavern temple, protected from the ravages of jungle war, gathered and grew strong. Biding their time to fight another day.

Started: 2011-11-18 00:41:53
Finished: 2014-12-22 22:39:10

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