16

Aunt Peachie smiled showing a polished set

  • Aunt Peachie smiled showing a polished set up dentures. "Come sit on Aunty's lap & let me give you a hug." I had no choice. As I clambered up I caught a whisp of her almond breath
  • . Aunt Peachie's bony hands stole around me & she clasped me to her flat bosom. Unexplainable & utter terror filled my soul & I struggled to extract myself from her arms. She smell
  • ed like a slice of dried venison that has been covered with a thick layer of spices to conceal the fact that it's past its best-served date. "Auntie" I grunted "I love you, but
  • this tastes like - " "Dungarees are what my dad always wore on a hunt, " my aunt inserted. But I wasnt going to be deterred.
  • "Let me put it this way auntie, the thing that this tastes like is brown and sounds like a bell and I'm not eating it anymore. I can't believe I haven't vomited yet? WHY CAN'T I?!
  • " My auntie didn't get the joke about dung, but my comment about vomiting up her food made her angry. She began shouting and throwing the horrible stuff at me. I ran away, but she
  • got into her 1971 Buick and chased me down the road. The only place I could think of to hide from my insane auntie was Joey Heatherton's Yarn Au-Go-Go, since she was allergic to
  • people having opinions, particularly about television shows. My insane auntie clawed at the windows of the crochet dance club, raving like a loom. I crocheted a cute raccoon hat
  • for Christmas. I told her she looked like Davy Crocket’s wife Lolita on their wedding night out on the O.K. Corral where they won the crochet dance club Hoochie Koochie Contest.
  • "So you're saying you see me turning into a harpy down the line. Is that what you're telling me with that line about Lolita Crocket?" Oops, I'd forgotten how that story ended.
Started
2014-10-13 17:11:53
Finished
2021-02-01 15:42:24

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